One of the things I really love about coaching are the AHA moments that I get to witness.
A client named Ben (I have written about him in my book “Mindful Pause”) and I had a fun conversation…
We were talking about how Ben wanted to learn more about meditation and mindfulness practice. He had gone down the path of wanting formal training on meditation and mindfulness. He was trying to build a regular practice, but found that he was unsuccessful. Being “unsuccessful” is how he judged it and he continued his harsh criticism with words like “I’m lazy” and “I’m bad”. He had intended on getting up every morning and having disciplined time to practice, and it just didn’t happen.
Ben was in transition in life. He is a parent, he has a wife, a young child at home, and he was in this discernment period of taking a new job. Ben felt like the mindfulness practice was going to help him. As a coach, one of the questions we ask is, “If you didn’t do what you wanted to do, what did you do”? This is a prompt to move conversations away from the “I shoulds” that often find their way into our best laid plans and discover the “I wants” that show up in what we really do!
Ben described that it wasn’t that he didn’t wake up to do his practice, he was awake, but he was comfortable. He was in bed, next to his wife, thinking about the blessings in his life. He was thinking about how much he loves his wife and daughter and the opportunities that his new job might give him. He was savoring those things that make his heart open up and make him happy, joyful and ready to take on another challenging day.
As Ben was describing how he was spending his time, he looked up at me, our eyes met, and we knew that this was his self care practice. While he intended on doing formal meditation practice, he found a strategy that worked for him. He could replace the “I should meditate” with the “I love to savor the blessings in my life”! With this he felt successful—and it was definitely sustainable.
Self care can look a lot of ways. In fact, I tell my clients that there are a million ways to solve a problem. There are countless ways that you can build self care that is meaningful to you in your life.
I’m not here to give you a cookie cutter approach, I’m here to have a conversation with you about what really is going to align with your life and fit into your routine. Conversations connect you to the things that give you hope and help you feel joy. Then, design a plan to let your life move from that space.
If you want to learn more about some of these simple strategies and have conversations that lead you to your natural next step, then let’s connect. Follow the link below and set a time to meet with me. I look forward to that conversation and more AHA moments—with you.